HII GUYS. Sorry... i’ve been meaning to update this shiz  but I’ve been a bit preoccupied ever since I've gotten home (thus life in NYC) there's not a ton to report on.. i've been mostly**:

  • catching up with family & friends
  • eating a shiiiit ton of YUMMY food... mostly Asian.. which made me seriously reconsider my trip to south america. i could easily go on a fatness tour across southeast asia. GIMME ALL THE CURRIES AND NOODLES AND RICE PLEASEEEE.
  • drinking booze at a wayy more higher cost... i nearly cried after paying $11 for a glass of wine
  • visiting some of my favorite places like
    • the Met (we got to bring a puppy in cus he was a service dog!)
    • the Brooklyn Bridge
    • the NY Public Library
    • Central Park
    • Edelman (where i use to work... lols!)
    • Brooklyn Tech
    • the High Line
  • enjoying the banalities unique to NY 
    • subway rides
    • buildings
      • skyscrapers
      • brownstones
      • townhouses
    • people watching
      • on trains (reiterating my first point)
      • at union square
      • everywhere. nyc is full of characters
    • rooftops
  • doing AMERICAN things like
    • watching football while eating wings
    • drinking beers at baseball games
    • worrying about my health care plan  (i have travelers insurance that only kicks in when im 500 miles away from my home base)
    • hiking
    • cringing while watching the GOP debate
    • getting fat
    • shooting guns (jk!)

**OMG i feel so corporate again writing bullets to succinctly describe my points in a digestible format for my readers... man, old habits die hard.. #NYCLife 


it's been a fun but exhausting visit.. i definitely appreciate being back home and being surrounded by people who know me (i've grown a bit tired of giving my elevator pitch) howeverrrrr... i hate the fact that my life is completely dictated by my calendar when i'm here. it's a tedious process trying to schedule dinners/drinks/coffee etc. with people since everyone seems to be busy doing who knows what (working)... and i know its the only way to keep track of everything, but calendar invites seem to make fun get togethers with friends feel like appointments that you slot in :( but it's always the best when you actually get together with the person and catch up.. so i can't whine too too much! also having so many clothing options has been a bit overwhelming... it takes me forever to decide on an outift. i try on everything a billion times.. complain that i have nothing to wear.. resist the urge to wear a black tank top and shorts.. then put on the canadian tuexdo (denim on denim on denim!) 


i've also enjoyedddd catching up on this koookkyyyyy fucking calamity better known as the 2016 presidential election... i know it's not polite to talk about politics and religion with people so BECAUSE I'M OBVIOUSLY A REALLY POLITE PERSON i'll just shut up. all i will say is that i've forgotten how much fun it is to debate policies..... Europeans and their socialist (sane) ideals are wayyy too in line with mine.. but i digress... 

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my identity and what it means to be an American... which itself is a problematic term since technically anyone living in the Americas (South/North), could in fact, consider themselves American... but I *googles synonym for digress* DON'T MEAN TO DIVERGE from the topic at hand.. my identity..

As an Asian American, the idea of the perpetual foreign is something i'm often confronted with when i'm back home. i constantly get questions about where i'm *really* from.. as if being born and raised in the US is not enough to be considered an *actual* American. to be honest,  i do sometimes struggle to identify myself as an "American" in the way that's often portrayed by media.. i'm not a gun carrying, god fearing, 6 foot, blonde hair, blue eyed, girl next door... i'm a second generation Asian-American raised by a single immigrant mother in Queens, NY.. a hyphenated American.  i've spent my whole life growing up in an ethnically and socioeconomically diverse community and attending NYC public schools.. both which have given me perspective and taught me empathy and tolerance while also nurturing a healthy curiosity about other cultures. When people ask me where i'm from when I'm traveling, i often find myself saying NY instead of the States, because I find myself relating more to my city than my country.. New Yorkers definitely live in a unique bubble (i mean.. i've only driven a car once in my life!)

However, I will say, when i travel, i do feel a lot more "American." That's not to say I go around chanting "USA! USA!" (only when I'm drunk and watching a game that the US is playing in) but i often find myself being the most optimistic and friendly (chatty) person in a room. i've been told countless of times that I'm tell me that i *ACT*  "SOOOOOOOO american"... and even if i don't *LOOK* like what most people envision a typical American to look like..  apparently as soon as i open my mouth, you can tell. And it's not only because of my accent or my posivitiy.. but apparently my immaculately straight and white teeth are also a dead giveaway (not my description!) 

i love my country.. i know that i'm incredibly lucky to be a US citizen... i have so many rights and freedoms and opportunities that people in other places could only ever dream of. i love the principles that our nation was founded on... freedom of speech, freedom of the press, the right to assemble and petition.. equality.. exceptionalism... however, one cannot be blind to the issues that are plaguing our nation and ripping us apart... while we should take pride in our country, we cannot be ignorant. it's important to acknowledge our flaws in order to truly love it.. and make positive changes. 

WHEW OKAY. as happy as i am to be back. i'm also excited to leave... SOUTH AMERICA HERE I COME!!