The Opposite of Loneliness

HELLO FOLKS. i can't believe i'll be home in less than a week!! after finally leaving Coimbra, i headed down south to a small little beach town called Zambujeria do Mar (say that 5xs fast!) with little detours to Nazare and Evora, two cute towns on my way there :)  Since it’s calm & serene and surrounded by beautiful, wild nature… a lot of portuguese people recommended I stop by Zambujeria...  and since the thought of partying it up on a crowded beach, surrounded by drunkards with loud music blasting in the background does not really appeal to me nowadays, i decided to take the R&R route, which I’ve enjoyed immensely! 

I can’t say I’ve done a ton, other than try to even out my tan/flashing the world/showing off my b(o)(o)bs (#freethenipple), climb up unmarked paths to watch stunning sunsets, jump in and out of the Atlantic (i’ve forgotten how cold the ocean is!!!), NOT laugh at all the penises i’ve seen on the nude beach (see.. i’m becoming so mature!), eat good food with even better company (hi Gintare, Mario & Toni ;)), and finish a few books, including Norweigan Wood by haruki murakami… which I’ve become totally obsessed with… there were just so many great quotes that really struck a chord with me, including this gem:

"I don't give a damn about power and money per se. Really, I don't. I may be a selfish bastard, but I'm incredibly cool about shit like that. I could be a Zen saint. The one thing I do have, though, is curiosity. I want to see what I can do out there in the big, tough world.”
"And you have no use for 'ideals' I suppose?"
"Life doesn't require ideals. It requires standards of action."

Perhaps it’s because its nearing towards the end of my trip (the first part anyway!), but I’ve done a lot of thinking and reflecting these past few days.. When i was having dinner with a group of nice German guys, one of them (Mario) asked me what i was afraid of, since i seemed pretty fearless to him. I replied something along the lines of “snakes and frogs but when it comes to situations and circumstances… i can’t live my life fearing the what-ifs” …. which i definitely think is true, but maybe not the only thing i'm scared of. His question started to make me think. and after some contemplation, i guess i would say my biggest fear in life would be ending up alone… not because i hate being alone.. but because i really, really enjoy it.  

As someone who grew up as an only child with a single, working mother, i’m used to being by myself…it’s never been weird for me to eat a meal alone, wander around by myself, or enjoy a drink without anyone else around (though that just maybe would make me an alcoholic…)  i like being independent and being able to do things on a whim because i feel like, without any compromise...i do what i want :) i, of course, enjoy being around people (i’d say most people would call me extremely extroverted) but it does get exhausting…  i like my peace and quiet as much as i like being with my friends & family.. and sometimes nice strangers :) But i guess being alone is far different than being lonely, which is another question people ask me about... and as someone whose been traveling solo for the past 5 months, i've never felt lonely, with the exception of when i found out my cousin died.... i've always had company when i've wanted it (and sometimes even when I didn't!) being lonely doesn't really worry me too much though since i am little miss chatterbox (#noshame)

I've also spent a lot of time thinking about everything i'm going to eat when i get back home.. bagels, curry, sushi, and such NOMNOMNOM... MISSED IT SO MUCH!!!

OKAY GOSH this is getting tooooooo serious. i’ll leave u with a picture of the bloody aftermath following 5 minutes of playing soccer with some locals. i’ve attempted workout a bit since i’ve gotten here, which turned out to be disastrous because I’m out of shape (the beers and wine have caught up to me!) so i nearly vomited after running 5KM (a lot of up it uphill, to be fair!) LALALA.